Gifts for the Wondrous Children of Friends and Relatives
Can you source a bullhorn?
I'm here to cause a little mischief.
Not the bad kind. More the eye-rolling "oh no you didn't, you cheeky little......." kind.
Festive high-jinks we'll call it.
Do you happen to have any semi-distant relatives who you aren't really that close to but they're always at family gatherings with their wildly hyperactive child?
Better yet, do have closer relatives, really close relatives, siblings perhaps? The kind of family you'd happily meet in the pub anytime for a giggle because you've always felt close. Some of them have kids don't they? And they love your jokes. Your funny, funny jokes. And what is Christmas if not a time for merriment, mirth-making and underhanded shenanigans.
Let's have a little fun with our friends, while providing children with some musical toys that they will cherish for many, many years to come. Hopefully at dinner and during nap times.
It's not that you deliberately tried to get the loudest thing you could, is it?
The Gifts of Mischief. And Love. Always Love.....
LP A191 Tambourines Aspire Plastic, 10", Red
Have you ever heard anyone try and play Jingle Bells with a tambourine? It's like watching a chimp try to make a cup of tea with a sledgehammer. Tambourines are also very ergonomic, making them remarkably difficult to pry from tiny fingers. It's almost too perfect! I think I may have started too strong....
Hee hee hee hee hee.......
Meinl Percussion Headliner Series Jingle Sticks, Black, Stainless Steel Jingles
Okay how about this little guy? It's got similar characteristics to the previous gift (hugely annoying) but has the added bonus of pretty much being designed like a weapon! Incredible. Just watch them get tired of trying to actually use it and soon enough they'll be clubbing other children while you chuckle into your sherry.
The mighty Jingle Club
Meinl CFT5-BK Cajon Foot Tambourine
Sonically we might have something of a theme going but each have their different benefits. If you can call them that. Take this little guy. It's a tambourine, that you can ATTACH TO THE CHILD! Pretty much every movement will result in varying levels of tambourine sound and if you have witnessed any children at Christmas, that's a lot of movement. Maybe grab another sherry and sit down, this could go on a while.
I would advise around the upper arm, less accessible for the parent
It's at this point they might start to think you're doing this on purpose. Unless you're a foley artist or doing sound effects for a low budget stage production of Jurassic Park, I really don't know what this thing is for. Even the manufacturer sounds confused. Nonetheless, it is fun looking and it certainly makes a prominent sound.
Maybe get them a little dinosaur costume also. It'll be adorable.
Schlagwerk Claves Acacia Wood, Ø 27mm
"What do you mean that's a musical instrument?" they'll say. "You've given the boy untethered nunchucks" they might add. "Something, something, important, latin music..." you may mumble. "You're paying for that window" might be directed at you at some point slightly later on.
Not only are they sticks, and moderately weighty ones at that. These are some of the loudest sticks on earth. You're welcome.
It's a mini musical nightstick
Boomwhackers BWSS Full Spectrum Set
If we're gonna do this, let's do this. Let's go.......FULL SPECTRUM. This one is a more expensive way to engage in some family shenanigans so you'll need to choose your time wisely. You're going to need quite a few kids. You may need to spend a few minutes pretending to show them all how to be a little orchestra. Then just sit back and watch the beauty unfold. This is a sherry you've truly earned. They'll start to drift apart, like a little cyclone made of noisy skittles flying off in separate directions. A melodious war might start between cousins. Kids frolic and leap and all the while these multi coloured tubes catch the wind just right or bounce off surfaces and people emitting strange yet continuous sounds. It builds and builds and after a while it starts to feel like the scary boat ride scene in the original Willy Wonka movie all flashing lights, fear and noise...... and you can close your eyes, smile and bask in a job well done.
It's gonna be absolutely, nothing at all, like this.......
I have nothing but everyone's best interests at heart. But who doesn't love a bit of mischief.
If you would like to check out our full range of acoustically vibrant instruments, click HERE. Also for more tremendously serious gift ideas, check THIS out.
I shall leave you with another extremely soothing AI image.
Until next time.